My Body Hates Me

Let me run you through the conversation I had with myself today....or better yet, the argument I had with my body today. Keep in mind my marathon in March 21....a mere 11 days away. I realize I did not ever blog about that. Now you know. Lucky number 3.

Kenz: I think I will go for a run
Legs: Are you serious
Kenz: Just a quick 40 min run or so, I didn't have a long run this weekend, so you can handle it
Legs: Psh, didn't have a long run. Who defines "long" anyways? Try being me and recruiting all these muscles to put one leg in front of the other. Then, try to absorb all this shock that me and knees have to put up with. We are through with you. We quit. We are fatigued.
Heel: Um, I hurt. Remember Kenz? I have this pump bump. It's from you wearing high heels on the weekends and dancing, and then attempting to hit me repeatedly on the ground 40-50 miles a week. Legs...geeze, you think YOU have it hard?
Kenz: Okay, here we go. Quick run, suck it up legs and heel. After all, its 70 and sunny and you have been doing school work all day. And its SPRING BREAK.

3 minutes later...
Heel: ow. ow. ow. Don't mind me, I only have a giant hump that is inflamed and digging into your shoe, making it agonizing to run.
Kenz: Maybe we should go back
Legs: Yes
Heel: Yes
Kenz: SIKE. no. Marathon is in 11 days. If we can't run a mile today, no way we'll make it 26.2 then. We go on.
Heel: I hate you.
Legs: 26? I did not sign up for this.

15 minutes in....
Kenz: Oh heel pain is going away, that's good! See, ya'll, this is not so bad.
Heel: Thanks for taking those painkillers before you went. Now I'm just swelling and chafing and progressing my injury so it hurts more later when the drugs wear off.
Legs: Kenz, seriously? 50 miles last week and you want to run more this week. I was not made to do this. We are not Kenyan here. I am only going along with this so we can get home sooner. Just wait for the charlie horses I'm going to give you tonight, bitch.
Digestive System: Hey Kenz! Remember that sushi and all that wine you had last night? And that Sonic Cheeseburger you had for lunch? It may be making a re-appearance.
Kenz: This is going to be a very long 20 more minutes.

5 minutes later....
Digestive System: PORTA POTTY!?!?!
Kenz: Oh my god, I need a porta potty.
Legs: You expect to run 50 miles last week, then go for a quick jog today, AND then expect ME to squat over a porter potty? You are crazy.
Kenz: I need to eat healthier.
Digestive System: Fried food. Beer. Mexican. Mmmmmm
Kenz: porta potty!!!

2 minutes later....post porta potty....
Legs: I hate you.
Digestive System: I'll be back in 5.
Kenz: I do not feel better.
Heel: (slurring) Whats the street name for this stuff?
Kenz: 5 minutes from home. This is ending early.

So here I am, a painful 35 minute run. An ongoing argument between my entire body. Other runners I know definitely have these conversations. I think maybe it's because I run without an Ipod? My body is ready for this ridiculous training to be over. Once again, I need to stress that...runners are crazy. I am crazy. Today was a "bad run". Tomorrow hopefully will be better. The marathon will go on.

Legs: Have you EVER heard of a day off?
Kenz: I run in my free time.