To the Start of Year number 2.........and being 23/ancient

And this week marked the first week of my second year here at Wake Forest.

It has been fun(ish), not nearly as hard as I was anticipating, and quite the experience. I feel as if I learned more in one year here than I did in 4 in undergrad...maybe that is because I was more focused on school rather than parties, pizza, boys, beer etc....but that's besides the point. Or maybe that is the point?

This year is all research. All the time. No classes to take...only to teach. The freshman keep looking younger and younger and I keep feeling older and older. On Wednesday I found myself telling my class of Freshies that "I am pretty cool, I'm not that much older than you all...just 6 or 7 years" like I had somehting to prove. Pathetic. Last year I would have given anything to be sitting in their desk, hungover, just having woke up, and listening to some grad student teach this required stupid class. This year I look at them and think "You are too young to be drinking. I should call your parents. Have you even hit puberty yet? I didn't look that young then, right? Oh geeze, I hope my kids aren't as bad as I was. I should call my parents right now and apologize". I'm growing up. Oh my gosh.

I propose my Thesis at the end of September. I am not nervous. yet. I also don't have a powerpoint, a committee, or a start on what I am doing, so I guess it doesn't really seem real yet. I am sure it will soon when I realize I present in a couple weeks and have nothing done. Or maybe when I am standing in front of a full room with arm pits drenched and sweating bullets and mumbling though some stuff I don't fully understand and am hoping that no one listening to me does either. I have the "whatever, we are all going to graduate" mentality...which unfortunately, I am not thinking is going to write my thesis for me. Thesis shmesis. Whats the big deal anyways...yikes.

Lets see....what else is new. I vacuumed my apartment today. Big deal right? Well...(moms, stop reading now)...it had been oh...13 months since its last vacuuming. And that was from the tenants before me. Lets just say I clogged the vacuum with blonde hair. Sanitary. Amazing to see how much I have grown up. On a positive note, it looks like I moved into a new apartment. And I stopped sneezing.

The new first year graduate students arrived. Its funny to see where we all were last year...although sometimes I fail to believe that we were that "lost" looking or clueless about anything going on. They look young, and yet again...I feel older. We had a dinner for them last week to welcome them in and answer any questions they may have....and drink beers, get them loosened up. However, as evidence by the picture below, I think 8 beers were drank among 15 people...and I am not ashamed to say that I had more than 2. It was so funny to hear all their questions and see how nervous some of them were and to think that we were in that same position last year shitting our pants. And last year, there was even less beer.

Team Occident (the second years) and the newbies...the first years. Is it just me or do the second years just exude an aged look? Like we have a year of grad school under us? Like we have been sleeping much less than a normal person for a year?

Wake Forest doesn't have any PhD students in our program...so we are on top. I am sure that is helping to this oldness I am feeling. But I mean come on, I am recently 23..I am not that old. Jerry the boo is 24...hes dragging me down. Making me feel ancient. I think I saw a wrinkle on his forehead last week...and he doubled his gray hair count. I don't want to turn 24. Scary stuff.

So, I personally am hoping for this year to be better than last. I struggled year number 1 feeling "connected" (despite how much I hate the word "connected"..sounds like I am in 3rd grade and the girl who thinks they are a cheetah so has no friends...oh wait...) and felt like a lot of my classmates thought I was a little too blunt or intense or something....but hey, I am from the midwest, I like to be on time, I like to have a schedule, I don't like doing thing I don't want to do because everyone else is too "nice" to say no, I don't like bullshit, and I don't like taking an hour to do what I could do in 15 minutes. Eh...maybe I am a little blunt. But, I also think that this summer some of them have caught onto my ways and taken me for what I am and actually thought it was funny as opposed to intense. Listen here, I never mean to be offensive or anything, not to brag, I think I am hilarious. Jerry will not agree.

Other news. My summer sweet challenge was a huge bust. Charlotte Marathon is in December. I still love Ohio. I am done with HELPS forever (bittersweet...no more 5:30 AM wake ups...but also no more getting hit on by 75 year old men*). I moved offices..I now share with a character named Shub who thinks I'm "vrallly vwierd". Jerry still is so obsessed with me. I still want to move to Ohio. I finally found a church in WS that I really love. I have a bottle of wine chilling that is now ready. I need to blog more often.


*My last day of HELPS....."Kenz, I am sad to see you go. I don't mean to be a dirty old man..but I have always thought you were very attractive"......glad to know I still look stunning after waking up at 5am and that I can attract men the age of my grandpa.