Day 4: Light

AND A VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Standings are at 1-3. I'm feeling a streak coming on. I also am feeling an advantage. I am currently waiting to board my flight to PIT to start my SPRING BREAK. Not to brag, I am going to the 2nd round of the NCAA tour all day tomorrow, likely making my debut on the big screen (for those of you with big-screen-tv's) thanks to our 5th row seats at center court. Keep your eyes peeled.

Following a day of basketball and a lack of green beer, Jerry and I are driving down to Kiawah Island, SC for a week full of golf, beaches, beers, and best of all...........NO WORK.

To my point, I will likely have lots of opportunities to take some of the best photos I am capable of. Which as you have seen so far, consists of a blurry homeless man and something that may resemble and orange.
 
I'm peeing my pants with excitement. I'm also jacked up on coffee.

Day 3: Lunch

I lose again. 0-3. In fact, Sarah's comment on seeing my picture...."um, what is that?".

It's an orange. My god woman get out of the cookie aisle.

Jerry, our relationship is looking compromising.

Day 2: Strangers

We also made our own blog that way Judge Jerry doesn't know who posted what when he judges. Ill post them up on here after he votes to limit bias (however, since he enjoys watching me fail, it probably will only benefit me).
http://professionalvsposer.tumblr.com/

Today was difficult. I have never felt so creepy (check that, wait, yes I have). I lost today. I lost yesterday. I really thought I had it in the bag yesterday. Turns out poser is easy to detect. Today I did a lot of strategic (or non-strategic) "oh, I'm just yawning with my hand close to your face and oh, was that a shutter sound?". Turns out, once I saw professional Sarah's photo, you can just ask people to smile pretty for you and get 6 inches from their face to take their picture. How she found a man who so remarkably resembled a stuffed bear, I'll never know.

I'm down 0-2. I need to step my game up.

This competition is taking priority over a little something I call my dissertation.

Day 1: A STREET

GAME. ON.

The 31 day photo competition.

Sarah vs. Kenz.

Pride at state.

Judge: Jerry Patterson, IN THE HOUSE.

Categories:

RULES
1) there are no rules, except
2) pics gotta be posted by midnight the day they are due or automatically forfeited and the other person wins that day and
3) photo must be taken that day (no past photos can be used)

Judge rules
1) you must judge the next day and post the winner in each of the comment box of our photos
2) captions are allowed, but you are not allowed to judge on the captions..only the picture alone
3) judging should include, but not be limited to: creativity, fit, quality, perspective

Day 1 is today (March 12)

Sarah's blog: www.sarahcolekammerer.com (so professional)
Mackenz's blog: http://itsjusttogoodnottoshare.blogspot.com/

Prize.....TBD. But outrageous-ness is certain

I'm peeing my pants in excitement.

The Photo Challenge.

I have a new friend in Chicago. Her name is Sarah and we run a lot. She is a "professional" in a lot of aspects but she likes taking pictures. We are going to start a competition. A picture competition. Every day we will have a key word and have to post a picture that describes that word. Jerry Patterson is the judge. He loves me but she is a professional so it should work well. I am pretty sure I will win just because if I don't Jerry is on the chopping block. Stay tuned. Things are about to get competitive.

Hello, did you miss me?

Hello readers. You may remember me. I was that Masters student from Wake Forest. Emphasis on was. I used to post things and write funny stories and then like most bloggers, I hit the 20 post limit and quit and never turned back. Well I proved you all wrong. Here I am - BACK.

Being that it is Sunday, and like 2 years ago, I am hung over, I went back and was reading old posts yours truly and thinking "wow, I am pretty freaking funny" so here I am again. To make myself feel better about myself.

Anyways, I got the hell out of North Carolina. I graduated and high tailed down I75 back north where I took a month of doing nothing before I moved to my new home, Chicago.

Chicago is much better than Winston Salem. The skies are always gray. Today it is raining. Its cold in September. I can hear traffic all the time, yet I don't have a car. I ride on a train every day. It is amazing. I love the midwest.

You may be wondering what I am doing here in Chicago? You may not. But for lack updates on my life in the last 8 months, I will let you know. I am going to more school. I should change my blog title to "Life of a Professional Student". Ill look into it. I am attending The University of Illinois at Chicago. I am a doctoral candidate. Some day, I will be a Dr. , PhD. Not MD (no medicinal perks here). I cannot prescribe you any medications. But I do pull the "I'm a doctor" card way too frequently. Some day I look forward to having students that call me Mrs and I can then punish them and say "Thats DOCTOR to you"....after all, I did go to 21 years of school to get that title. I have a cubical in the basement where the biomechanics lab is. It is awesome. My first cube. I work with all men and they talk about football all day and don't really talk to me except to make fun of Ohio State. I wish Jim Tressel wouldn't have made some "mistakes" because now I do not really have much to refute. My advisor/boss is a little bit of a hippie and I like it. He is also way smart and I am still doing good at fooling him that I too am smart.

I have two roommates. I met them on CraigsList in the "missed connections" section. "I saw you walking down the street last week. You were wearing a blue dress, I was running. We met eyes and I knew from that minute that we were made to live together. I have been thinking about you a lot. Be my roomie in Chicago?". So, it has worked out well. Not to brag, I think our apartment is the cutest in Chicago. For $1000 a month more than I was paying in Winston Salem I can almost fit a bed and dresser into my bedroom (I say almost, because, I only have a bed in there, dresser wouldn't fit). We live near Wrigley. I wont give you the exact address because I don't want you to stalk me but it really allows me to live out my college days. Last night I met my brother (the golden child) at a bar where we danced to a DJ. There were girls in short dresses acting slutty and I felt old. Luckily, before I met my brother there I went to a concert at a beer festival that was at a church. The concert was a band called 16 Candles. For those of you who are uncultured and don't know who they are, they are an 80s cover band. Yes, I dressed up - I was born in the 80s, Pat Benatar is a god. I would document you with a picture but I didn't take one. Sorry. I shook it all night long and now my feet hurt. I was hungry like the wolf so I ate a german sausage. And I Jumped and walked like an Eqyptian. It was amazing.

I'm sure you were dying to know if I am still running. Yep. Mama is coming down in a couple weeks to run a 15k with me. Its a Chocolate 15k. There is Godiva Chocolate at the end of it, and I plan on eating all of it. I don't know why more races don't have concepts like this. Sweet dreams are made of this. Enough with the throwbacks.

Other updates:
- Jerry is still cute, and I still love him a lot. Someday he will move here
- I started golfing for hopes my parents will like me better
- My parents like me just the same
- My hair is SO LONG
- My bestie Amanda got married and about a million of my others did too. They are dropping like flies
- I started blogging on tumblr a little bit, but didn't like it. So I am back.
- I ran a marathon in Nashville. It was hilly.
- I love SnackWraps from McDonalds

Okay, so I am back. This was an okay "back at it" post.

The Green House

This weekend 3 of my best friends are coming to visit Winston Salem. I am not sure I am ready. I am not sure Winston is ready. But I am sure, I am so incredibly excited I had to break the 2 month hiatus of no-blog posting.

I have had previous posts discussing these delightful "green house girls" and I think it is appropriate to once again mention that these girls are the best friends a girl could have and to list a couple reasons they are the bees knees and why I love them so much..

- They can always make me want to pee myself laughing...even after a rough day
- They never say no to a beer....even if they may drink Miller Light
- They never say no to a good time
- We can pick up right where we left off - and its like we never left
- You can tell them ANYTHING....anything...and they wont judge you, if anything, they will just try and top you
- The Sunday morning conversations...typically consisting of trying to fill in missing detail of the nights before
- The way they all have a secret obsession, or not so secret, with Jerry
- They way Jerry likes them just as much as he likes me
- I cant seem to envision "the best weekend ever" without them being a part of it
- There is a endless amount of friendship dollars* and the effort that goes into receiving them is more than has gone into some of our college classes
- 8 girls. 8 weddings. 8 opportunities to sing Whitney Houston at the top of our lungs post college. Oh, and 8 Bachelorette parties. Or make that 16.
- Whitney Houston
- I cant say green house without saying GREEEEEEEN HOUUUSSEEE
- I find myself laughing at the most random things because they remind me of shenanigans. Ex. the word "thank you", lean cuisines, hot pockets, penguins, ladders
- They will come visit me where ever I am. Even Winston Salem. And I will go visit them where ever they are. Even Martinsville Indiana.
- When I attempt to explain them or us to anyone else that has never met them their jaws drop and they judge me a little bit
- When I say "one time with the green house" to people who do know the green house, I get judged a little bit
- Cousin Vinneys.
- The graduation Bar Crawl they took me on 2 weeks before graduation
- The 2 hour long games of quarters. As 4 PM.
- Schizophrenia. The made up card game. With made up cards.
- The song Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Seriously, how many groups of 8 girls do you know that know every single word to that song and request it nightly? Oh, and act it out.
- The stories I can hardly tell because as sooon as I start, I am laughing too hard
- The six pack I acquired during college from laughing so hard with them every day
- The relationships I formed with them and know that they would do anything for me. Anything. And knowing I would do anything for any of them.
- The fact that I could go on forever, and this list would just get more and more ridiculous and make less and less sense

GH4L ladies- cant wait for your arrival. Bud light.......er, Miller light (ew) is chilling.

A couple of the green house ladies...just a typical night...probably a Tuesday



*Friendship dollars. I dont know if I can explain what they are, or if any really of us can, but we all know what they are, and will do anything to try and receive them. Ex. 25 friendship dollars to anyone who asks the DJ to marry them. 50 friendship dollars to anyone who gets London Warrens phone number. 150 friendship dollars to whoever wears these Depends out to the bar. 500 friendship dollars to anyone who wakes up in Marycrest.

It is the end of September and its 90 degrees outside.

The title of this post says it all.

It's September. This week it has been 90 degrees. I am still sweating in my sleep. My air conditioning bill is still high. I still like Ohio better.

This post may be a little bit of a vent but I'm okay with that since I have been on the campus of Wake Forest University since 7AM this morning and its currently 6PM and I'm still here with no signs of leaving. If you are thinking, well stop blogging right now and get your work done and leave, I will say to you, thanks for that. However, that won't work. My work is done. My bags are packed. I'm still here.

Part of my role here at WFU is to run the Undergraduate Biomechanics Lab. Not a bad gig, I get to hang out with undergrads and try and show them I am still cool with hopes that maybe I'll get invited to a raging frat party where I can drink jungle juice* out of a big tub in the middle of the room and just be so college again. However, they are still undergrads. I am supposed to run them each through a workshop that teaches them how to FILM their senior final project. So they get a camera from me and then take it ELSEWHERE (emphasis on the ELSEWHERE) and do their filming and then return the camera to me a good 2 hours later. Group number one comes in today at 5PM when they checked out their camera. My plan is to give them the camera, then as they walk out of the Biomechanics Lab to go film ELSEWHERE, I will walk out of the Biomechanics Lab as well(since it is 5PM and I had been here since 7AM). But no, they open up the camera start setting up and oh yes, they are going to film in our lab. Where my office is. The same lab where next to the "sign up to check out a camera" sheet is a LARGE BOLD ALL CAPS PAPER SAYING PLEASE EMAIL ME BEFORE FILMING IN THE BIOMECHANICS LAB.

So, here I am. Sitting. "Monitoring". Waiting for them to leave. Hungry. I haven't run today. I ate 3 chocolate chip subway cookies. They keep asking me questions (another reason they are supposed to go ELSEWHERE, I am not supposed to do this FOR them). Needless to say, I am not happy. And I am sure they are just antsy to get out of here so they can go to the nearest pub, order a 2 dollar Natty Light and get a little Wednesday night buzz. Well, I am antsy to go back to my apartment, on the way stop and buy a bottle of 5 dollar Chardonnay, sit on my brown couch and soak in the expensive cold air my apartment has been blowing for the last FIVE months, and give myself a big Wednesday night buzz.

Direction Ignore-ers really get me riled up. While we are on it, this also goes for those driving and who ignore directions..."I know GoogleMaps says turn right here, but I think if I keep driving, it will be faster"....we all know that person, and before you know it, you are in the middle of Indiana going who knows where**

Vent over. But, I am still sitting here. "Monitoring". It's 6:02.




*Jungle Juice. also known as Hairy Buff, Liquid Cocaine, or an assortment of other interesting names. It contains I am pretty sure everclear and everclear soaked fruits. You let it sit for like 4 or 5 days and then drink it and you can't taste a thing. You also can't remember a thing after about half a glass. Oh college.

**All of Indiana is "who knows where"

Kiawah Island SC. Where you are a freak if you don't golf.

Do you like beaches? Do you like sunshine? Do you like palm trees? Do you like vacation? Then you will love Kiawah Island, South Carolina. With the country club feel, this Island has everything you could want from golfing to golfing...to golfing! Don't stop there, stop in the gift shop and buy yourself a Titleist with the Kiawah Island Logo on it and make sure you pick up your pink Ralph Lauren Polo to match your linen pants and boat shoes. Get further onto the island and you can lay by the pool, the beach, the gator infested lagoons and work on your sunburn next to the other 200 people from Ohio looking for a vacation in SC. At night, make your way into Charleston, SC. Don't forget the high heels and sundress though - and definitely don't go easy on the make up! You are sure to feel under-dressed even in your best BCBG dress (go big, don't go last season). Don't count calories, get the She-crab soup and indulge in the fried green tomatoes - If your wearing linen pants or a sundress you cant see mushroom tops anyways.

All sillyness aside, I am lucky enough to be a part of a family that has a little vacation home on this gorgeous island. I love Kiawah and Charleston SC and would recommend it as a destination for anyone looking for an awesome place in the south to visit. It is such a relaxing break and an amazing place despite all the yip-yippyness that can be associated with it. This weekend was our annual trip to Kiawah for Labor Day weekend. Me, my brothers, my parents, my grandparents, and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins (and cousins dogs..) all gather in a little 2 bedroom villa and eat tacos, drink wine, and play...golf. So it starts...

I arrived early Friday morning, after a 4 hour hung over drive due to my festivities of the BUCKEYES season opener the night before. When I got there, I was just in time. In time to say "hi" before everyone walked out the door for their noon tee time. When I say everyone, I mean it was me and grandma hanging out all afternoon. I played a little tennis, layed by Mable* (our pet Gator, naturally), and read a little bit of a book (like 2 pages). 5 o'clock rolls around and the clan returns, talking of birdies, bogies, drives, slicing, bunkers, long drives, OB's, pin placements, bugs, and how my brother is amazing. This goes on. And on. And on. And we eat tacos. And it goes on.

Yes, I know what your thinking...these are all ours. And this is only the front porch

I play tennis. When I was younger, golf was not much of the sport for me. Walking 4 miles trying to get a tiny ball into a 2 inch hole does not really appeal to me/sound enjoyable at all. It actually sounds miserable. Not to mention it should not be so %$!*ing hard to hit that stupid white thing. When I was young my father would drop me off at the tennis courts and play 18. No one asks about tennis though. So I started running. No one talks about that either. They think I'm crazy. They should talk. Golf is crazy. I need more attention. I needed to tackle this golf thing first hand. What is the hype all about. Now, I have played the occasional round before, but it usually ends with my swearing and getting so frustrated I quit before getting through 5 holes or seeking out the cart lady to get a beer. This time, I was for real.

Saturday morning I woke up early to run a 12-miler. It was humid and hot but running around all the massive houses in Kiawah is not a bad gig. A couple times I found myself hunched over in peoples front yards trying to drink out of their sprinklers and I spent about 2 miles searching for a porter potty but all-in-all as good as running 12 miles can be. I returned from that, played a little tennis with Dave, my younger super-star brother and did some of the tennis clinics that day. The tennis clinics alone are reason enough to make a trip to Kiawah Island. Tennis player or not, they definitely have down the hiring process of the teaching pros there. I find myself showering before tennis lessons and putting on make up to try and impress brothers Ryan and Brandon and find myself flirting so obviously with Matt. I am pretty sure I have a chance, and I'm sure given the chance that Jerry would support me letting them buy me a nice dinner. I know that he too thinks they are very attractive men. Whats not to love about tennis boys with sexy tans and toned legs?

One would think that 12 miles and 2 hours of tennis was more than enough for one day but the family was golfing. Of course. 2 PM tee time. In dire need to have attention and to get my parents to like me, I said to put me on the tee time. So, I played golf too. Apparently, I'm pretty good because I had the lowest score of the day. I beat everyone. Even superstar Erik who plays D1 varsity golf.

9 balls later, lots of bugbites, and a house with a dent in their roof, I ended the day with a 63. Erik shot a 74. On 18 holes. I only played 9. Apparently, not the same? That night, over beers, I was in on the dinner-convo. I talked about bunkers, OBs, bogies, double bogies, triple bogies, quadruple bogies (?) lost balls, and how stupid golf is. Truth: Secretly, I kind of enjoyed it and I have decided to start practicing this "sport" so I can get better. Everyone golfs. How awesome would it be if I too could be good at such a social sport as golf. I could win money. Maybe I could impress some of the younger tennis pros with my multi-talented skills. Or maybe Jerry will like me better and want to play with me on weekends. However, I am not sure how that works with golf being a "man's sport". Maybe I'll make golfing girl friends.

Saturday night I was in bed by 8:30. Rightfully so having the big day full of activities. Sunday morning I woke up to everyone getting ready to go golfing. Really? Again?! And I wasn't even invited. I guess only playing 9 holes and shooting 63 and losing 9 balls in the process isn't much of an investment for the family. It probably did not matter anyways because I woke up unable to move. I was sore everywhere. AND, the kicker, I had to leave Kiawah Island. That's right, Wake Forest has classes on Labor Day. Insert: ridiculous. I played some tennis, struggled on standing up, layed by a pool, struggled on getting up, ate some dinner, didn't struggle on stuffing my face and then my vacation was done. It was a wonderful weekend and so great to spend some time with my family - we will see if I can improve the golf game and become a true member of the family next Labor Day...maybe they will let me play more than once.




*We actually do not have a pet alligator named Mable. However, there is a gator named Mable that hangs out on our back patio. He is pretty much the reason my little cousin Dam-o is afraid to sleep at night. He also may hang out on out back porch because he likes to eat ice cubes that we throw at him. Illegal/Dangerous/CRIKEY!
Mable taking a nap/waiting to chomp my arm off. Please note that this picture is not zoomed in and this is from our back porch and that Mable is touchable with a fishing rod. Bud Light may have been involved during that evening.

To the Start of Year number 2.........and being 23/ancient

And this week marked the first week of my second year here at Wake Forest.

It has been fun(ish), not nearly as hard as I was anticipating, and quite the experience. I feel as if I learned more in one year here than I did in 4 in undergrad...maybe that is because I was more focused on school rather than parties, pizza, boys, beer etc....but that's besides the point. Or maybe that is the point?

This year is all research. All the time. No classes to take...only to teach. The freshman keep looking younger and younger and I keep feeling older and older. On Wednesday I found myself telling my class of Freshies that "I am pretty cool, I'm not that much older than you all...just 6 or 7 years" like I had somehting to prove. Pathetic. Last year I would have given anything to be sitting in their desk, hungover, just having woke up, and listening to some grad student teach this required stupid class. This year I look at them and think "You are too young to be drinking. I should call your parents. Have you even hit puberty yet? I didn't look that young then, right? Oh geeze, I hope my kids aren't as bad as I was. I should call my parents right now and apologize". I'm growing up. Oh my gosh.

I propose my Thesis at the end of September. I am not nervous. yet. I also don't have a powerpoint, a committee, or a start on what I am doing, so I guess it doesn't really seem real yet. I am sure it will soon when I realize I present in a couple weeks and have nothing done. Or maybe when I am standing in front of a full room with arm pits drenched and sweating bullets and mumbling though some stuff I don't fully understand and am hoping that no one listening to me does either. I have the "whatever, we are all going to graduate" mentality...which unfortunately, I am not thinking is going to write my thesis for me. Thesis shmesis. Whats the big deal anyways...yikes.

Lets see....what else is new. I vacuumed my apartment today. Big deal right? Well...(moms, stop reading now)...it had been oh...13 months since its last vacuuming. And that was from the tenants before me. Lets just say I clogged the vacuum with blonde hair. Sanitary. Amazing to see how much I have grown up. On a positive note, it looks like I moved into a new apartment. And I stopped sneezing.

The new first year graduate students arrived. Its funny to see where we all were last year...although sometimes I fail to believe that we were that "lost" looking or clueless about anything going on. They look young, and yet again...I feel older. We had a dinner for them last week to welcome them in and answer any questions they may have....and drink beers, get them loosened up. However, as evidence by the picture below, I think 8 beers were drank among 15 people...and I am not ashamed to say that I had more than 2. It was so funny to hear all their questions and see how nervous some of them were and to think that we were in that same position last year shitting our pants. And last year, there was even less beer.

Team Occident (the second years) and the newbies...the first years. Is it just me or do the second years just exude an aged look? Like we have a year of grad school under us? Like we have been sleeping much less than a normal person for a year?

Wake Forest doesn't have any PhD students in our program...so we are on top. I am sure that is helping to this oldness I am feeling. But I mean come on, I am recently 23..I am not that old. Jerry the boo is 24...hes dragging me down. Making me feel ancient. I think I saw a wrinkle on his forehead last week...and he doubled his gray hair count. I don't want to turn 24. Scary stuff.

So, I personally am hoping for this year to be better than last. I struggled year number 1 feeling "connected" (despite how much I hate the word "connected"..sounds like I am in 3rd grade and the girl who thinks they are a cheetah so has no friends...oh wait...) and felt like a lot of my classmates thought I was a little too blunt or intense or something....but hey, I am from the midwest, I like to be on time, I like to have a schedule, I don't like doing thing I don't want to do because everyone else is too "nice" to say no, I don't like bullshit, and I don't like taking an hour to do what I could do in 15 minutes. Eh...maybe I am a little blunt. But, I also think that this summer some of them have caught onto my ways and taken me for what I am and actually thought it was funny as opposed to intense. Listen here, I never mean to be offensive or anything, not to brag, I think I am hilarious. Jerry will not agree.

Other news. My summer sweet challenge was a huge bust. Charlotte Marathon is in December. I still love Ohio. I am done with HELPS forever (bittersweet...no more 5:30 AM wake ups...but also no more getting hit on by 75 year old men*). I moved offices..I now share with a character named Shub who thinks I'm "vrallly vwierd". Jerry still is so obsessed with me. I still want to move to Ohio. I finally found a church in WS that I really love. I have a bottle of wine chilling that is now ready. I need to blog more often.


*My last day of HELPS....."Kenz, I am sad to see you go. I don't mean to be a dirty old man..but I have always thought you were very attractive"......glad to know I still look stunning after waking up at 5am and that I can attract men the age of my grandpa.

Come visit Winston Salem, where the only class is at Wake Forest University

Did you know that Winston Salem NC is the homegrounds of R.J.Reynolds Tobacco Company and in the 1940s 60% of the people living in Winston worked there. Talk about some good genes. Also, if you get up early enough on a humid morning you can smell the tobacco in the air. What a way to start off the day!

Winston Salem is also the home of one of the most beautiful skylines in the Piedmont area, beating out Yadkinville, High Point, and Ashboro. What is that beautiful building so strategically erected in the middle of the city you ask? You have never seen anything like this puppy, the Wachovia building. This incredible means of architecture stands 34 inches stories tall, and while you may not think it is SFW (safe for work), from the inside, this thing is a powerhouse.

The breath-taking skyline of Winston Salem, NC

Winston Salem is also the home of Krispy Kreme donuts. Their most recent addition has been the cheerwine donut. Complete with cheer wine flavored filling with a little fizzy punch, this delicacy packs a mean 430 calories. Luckily, after you have your morning indulgence of the KK donut, you can pack off the pounds that evenig at johnny and junes, Winston Salems local country bar. where locals ride the mechanical bull, drink bud diesels, and definetly definetly dont “wrap it up”…or brush their teeth.

Oh, you are in need for some adventure? Don’t worry the “mountains” are not far. Go visit Pilot Mountain, the “mountain” that looks like a nipple. In an hour you can reach the summit, needing no more than a water bottle and a camera to capture the view of the Triad below. Don’t know what the Triad is? Don’t worry, neither does anyone else living here. But its always “raining in the Triad area”.

Sports Fan? Winston-Salem is the home of the Dash. Very own Single A Baseball team. Tickets are cheep and the beer is not. The stadium is protested and took years to finish, however, once your in, you can pop a squat on the grass outfield. Don’t forget your white shorts. You can also check out the Wake Forest Demon Deacons basketball squad. Don’t worry, the 8-24 season of 2011 was simply a “rebuilding” year, and next year the hope is to beat our the Wake Forest Demon Deacons football team for closest to a .500 season.

Book your tickets now into the Piedmont Airport, where living is a vacation.

Because I sweat in my sleep

After spending 9 days back in God's country/Ohio, I was reminded of a number of reasons I enjoy Ohio more than North Carolina. When I woke up my first morning in Ohio, and went out for a run...it was nice. I felt great. I ran far, I felt fresh. What was different? Oh...its because I am not pouring salty water into my eyes, making my shirt and shorts heavy. I sweat in NC as soon as I wake up, I sweat all night, I sweat in the shower, I sweat eating, I don't even know what it is that I do when I run. So, reason number two that NC is inferior to Ohio.....Humidity.

I can deal with the heat, I really can, but when I go for a run at 5:30 (!!!!!) in the morning I like being able to breath thank you very much. And I don't like starting the day of dripping in sweat so much that even after I shower, I am still sweating. When I move back to Ohio, I swear I will never complain about it being hot or humid again. Ever.

Not to mention, the humidity makes my apartment torturous (any, apparently, a wonderful climate for ferocious cockroaches) and has made my electric bill even more terrifying. This month it went up 400% from last month. And May was up from what April was. I would pay this happily if it actually kept me cool, but I have it set at 73 and still sweat through the night in fear of what my bill would look like if I had it set at the wonderfully cool 66 (in my opinion, optimal sleeping temperature).

What's worse...this will likely stick around til October. In Ohio, we would have 6 inches of snow by then. And I will run in 6 inches of snow. I won't run 6 degrees above 90. Which, lucky me, is the projected high for every day in the next 10-days.*

Why is Ohio better than NC? Snow.


*I love weather.com's 10-day forecast and check it daily and have found that the weather can have a dramatic effect on the mood of my day....

Reason Number One

This morning I woke up at 6 AM to a little friend greeting me in my apartment. While I say friend, I mean nothing of the sort. This little guy after making me shriek, jump around my apartment, and look for the nearest shoe that I don't mind "ruining", inspired me to begin posting about reasons I can't wait to move back to Ohio/reasons I can't wait to leave North Carolina.

Why this is not the biggest, best, or true number one reason I can't wait to leave....it will be the first I share since it was this little guy who inspired my posting.

Reason number One I cant wait to leave North Carolina (drumroll please)..........

Cockroaches.

Ew.

I tried google-imagining a picture of this disgusting creation and found that even searching for one and then seeing images of them pop up on my screen gave me the shivers and made me uncomfortable touching the key board like one was going to magically pop out of the screen and touch my fingers. So, I decided against it.

There are no cockroaches in Ohio. Somehow, in North Carolina, these things can find a way to get into my securely fastened second story apartment and cock around in MY living room and then get on the bottom of MY tennis shoe. There are no cockroaches in Ohio. Only little rolly-pollys and lady bugs. I can do those.

For your enjoyment, let me try and relive...eh, retype the war that happen in my apartment this morning. Woman vs. Roach.

6 AM. My alarm goes out and walk out into my living room. There we have this little guy. I get a little closer thinking "maybe its just a leaf" - right. This 2 inch beast has antennas that are sticking 2 inches out of its head. Just sitting there. "Maybe its dead", I think. If it was dead, I had already tried to think of ways to push it out my front door without touching it to myself or any personal belongings. I get closer and stomp a little bit about 2 feet away from it. Not dead. Nope. Not dead at all. And quite speedy. I shriek and jump around while it scurries under to television stand. I come back to sanity and I am standing on my couch.

Some may let it stay there, under that TV stand.

Not me. While I'm gone for the day, that thing could multiply. It could get my bathroom. It could get in my clothes and then I wear it tomorrow. It could get in my bed and kill me tonight. NOT staying there. I go and grab a tennis shoe I don't wear anymore. This is war, roach.

Standing as far away as possible from my TV stand while still being able to push it with my foot to move it a bit, I go for the kill. Pushing with my foot, my arm cocked with tennis shoe in hand. The more I think about this, the more I am pretty sure I was a little over-dramatic....but my heart was seriously racing 150 bpm. That is sinus tachycardia, people. The TV stand moves, roach runs out, arm cocks, slams the floor, scream, and bam. Dead roach and awoken neighbors.

Victory is mine. But, now I must get the dead roach out. I gather probably close to 20 paper towels to pick up the beast put it in a plastic grocery bag and carry it, arms fully extended, using only my pointer fingers, past my own trashcan, and go straight to the apartment complex dumpster. I don't know how bugs work...even if that thing is dead, I am not taking the risk of it still being able to have baby roaches or all its friends coming to rescue him from my trash so they can give him an "honorable death".

Morning activities go on...but my eyes are peeled for more intruders. All I could think about was...I have never done that before. We don't have these bugs at home. Man, North Carolina Sucks. Ohio rocks.

Cockroaches. Reason number one I can't wait to move back to Ohio.

Summer Not So Sweet Challenge

Today is the first day of summer, and staying consistent with past summers, I will be giving up sweets.

I started giving up sweets the summer after my Freshman year of college, and after gaining the despised "freshman 15" and then followed up the summer after my "Sophomore 16". This year, I am not doing it to lose weight, I don't feel that I need to. However, I am doing because it makes my runs go well and it makes me feel better about myself. But, lets be honest, being female...I don't think I would be too upset if I lost 5 pounds doing this nonsense.

Yes, it is hard. I am a chocoholic (diagnosed and treated). However, after making it through about 2 weeks..in which I have withdrawal symptoms (screaming, crying, bitching, chronic PMSing, etc)...I am able to enjoy a day without needing a Wendy's frosty or a pack of peanut M&M's.

Today at 12:30 stated day 1. I had a Subway cookie with lunch as my last goodbye and was sure to savor it. These, along with Frosty's are two desserts that I miss the most.

This challenge does not come without caveats. I allow myself to eat sweets when I am out of the state of North Carolina. Allowing me to do dive into Mommy's baking and wedding cakes as well as Buckeye Sundaes from Mr. Freeze. To keep your taste buds happy....buckeye sundaes consist of ice cream, peanut butter filled buckeye candy, peanut butter sauce, chocolate fudge sauce, and whipped cream piled high in a large styrofoam cup. I love Ohio.

Wish me luck. Tonight we are having a "The Bachelorette" party with my classmates to watch girls flaunt there stuff for numerous men. There will be snacks there. I can feel the tears coming already. I may be moodier than the Weatherman*.



*For The Bachelorette watchers, this will make sense. For non Bachelorette watchers....just imagine Ross from Friends.

I'm so proud of you? Congrats?

My father called me this Friday. This is normal.

He "just wanted to say hi" since we had not talked in a few days. This is normal. Both the "just wanting to say hi" and the fact that we had not talked in a few days.

However, the tone of his voice was more than he was "just calling to say hi". He was giddy and I could tell there was a huge smile plastered on his face (Bigger than what it should be talking to his faaaaaavorite...only daughter). There was something up..I knew it. He called for more than that. Excuse me mister, I've known you for 23 years and you are up to something.

"I did it". That's all he said. You did it? Really dad? You did what? Bought a new car? Cut down the rest of the tree that the tornado a couple of weeks took half of? Got a hole-in-one? Ran a marathon (this thought was not really one of them, for he thinks running is silly...along with most of the country)? Got plugs? God, I hope not.

After trying to guess silently to myself and after about 20 seconds of him sitting on the phone...I'm sure enjoying the fact that he was leaving me in the dust and knowing me well enough to know that I was getting frustrated I finally asked "YOU DID WHAT?"

Retired.

Immediate response: Oh, cool dad.

Our conversation went on and I could still tell he was excited...but I didn't know what to say. Retired? My dad is not old enough to retire. I hadn't planned what to say to someone when they tell me this. I'm so proud of you? You made it 25 years of teaching middle school hellions...I'm so proud that you got out while you could? I'm so glad you still have some hair? Congratulations on surviving? Congratulations on being done with work forever? Can I be [proud of my dad? Is that allowed? I didn't know what to say! We ended our phone chat kinda on that note. But the longer I have thought about it, I am pretty sure that retirement deserves more than a "oh, cool dad". Ooops.

So, now I am searching the world wide web looking for retirement gifts. However, I don't know how father-daughter retirement gifts go these days. Or ever. I still don't completely know what retirement is. You just stop working? What do you do all day? Aren't you bored? Hell, I have not even STARTED a job yet. I am going to be 90 before I can retire and then play all the golf (ha) I want with my artificial hips (that I invented, and then installed on myself....duh).

Open to "retirement for dad" gift suggestions....is there such a thing?

National _______ Day

Yesterday was National Running Day. Some may think that I celebrated this to the fullest and went out, ran my hardest, ran my fastest, smiled, waved, pranced around lovely Winston Salem encouraging the rest of the city to get out, run, and have a great time as the fun colors and exuberance of the website may exert ( National Running Day ). However, I did nothing of the sort. I did run. Go me. I ran a miserable 5 miles. It was more of a run/walk/die. My body recently has not been agreeing with me and its been making running very difficult/not fun. It was hard to put one foot in front of the other. And there was no way I was smiling at any other runners as they passed by. In fact, I am pretty sure I heard one of them run by and say "wow, she looks like shes struggling" ... maybe I am hearing things.

On another note...I am glad that we have a National Running Day. While I am pretty sure I don't know how many people knew about it (admittedly, I did not even until Jerry sent me the link) and I think next year they should plan in more strategically as to not be in the beginning of June when it was 90 degrees and humid as all hell, I am glad someone has taken the initiative to try and get America up and moving. Hm...while on that...who makes those up? National Event maker-uppers? Where do I get a job like that? I have lots of great holiday ideas in mind. National Wednesday off Work Day. National Free Krispy Cream Day. National Free Cheeseburgers Day. National Pigtails Day. National Re-runs Week. National Diamonds for Girlfriends Week. I could go forever.

There have been more of these folks trying to get America healthier...and I am looking at evidence of that currently as I sit at Panera (working on writing my thesis, clearly). Up on the menu board, next to my beloved Asian Chicken Salad there is a little number...410. What does that mean? Why, 410 calories of course. Looking at the rest of the board..there are numbers next to everything on the menu. Horray and Hallelujah. Now we shall have "Burger King Bob" think twice before he goes for the Panera Macaroni and Cheese (delicious) at a whopping 900+ calories (but not so nutritious) over a Fuji Apple Chicken Salad (equally delicious) at ~500 cals (and much more nutritious). I was intrigued by these numbers and looked it up. Seems this was passed at the national level and now (well as of Jan 1, 2011) every chain restaurant has to have calorie counts next to everything on the menu. Bottom Line: McDonald's menu just got a lot bigger in order to make room for all those numbers. And Subway just got a lot more appeasing. And Starbucks just got depressing....just wait til you see how many calories are jammed into a cafe mocha. May be making the switch to Herbal Teas*? So again, I am glad to see that there are other people out there that have taken the initiative to beating this obesity epidemic that has begin to take over....and whats even better...is that today I got an email with an article in it ( Dieting for Dollars) that is about companies actually PAYING their employees to WALK and lose weight. While the end results aren't to impressive yet, it's a start... and one that I am pretty pleased about.


*I recommend these by the way, TraderJoes especially has the BEST teas in all the best flavors...and at about 5 calories a cup and some caffeine, I would think it makes an excellent substitute for that java java some need every morning...and it wont stain your teeth.

I bet you thought I was....

I bet you though I died during my last Marathon and that's why I haven't been blogging?

That's about the last time I blogged, just before that race of 26.2 miles happened. Well I've got good news. I did not die. I'm still around, and I'm still running. I just am not blogging (we will refrain from excuses and pretend 2 months have not passed). The Virginia Beach "Shamrock" Marathon was awesome. In fact, it Sham-rocked. I had a PR at 3:55. Only a minute faster than my last PR but I felt infinitely better throughout the race, and despite my calves cramping in the last 2 miles, I may have finished at 3:50. So, Ill consider it a success and get another PR next time. Whether the PR was due to the fact I had a "good day", I trained better this time, the weather was great, or I was just running faster to get to the free Yuengling at the end of the race...I'm not really sure, but the beer sure did taste just as good as I thought it would. Jerry was nice enough to come with me and watch me run 26 miles which I am sure was sooo exciting for him. I actually give him props on his first "almost-half-marathon" since he reports that he walked 12 miles in order to see me as many times as he could along the course. I have a great catch here. However, I was not sympathetic of complaints of sore feet or chafing on the ride home. I had enough complaints of my own that needed sympathizing.

The champion and the chafer

Now that I have recovered fully, the running continues. The Detroit Free Press Marathon is in my future. I have high hopes to get my mother to run it as well...that may be a long distant hope, but we can see how much persuading I can do. The weather in Winston keeps getting hotter (while the nightlife remains cold and unlively), and the humidity is slowly melting me like the Wicked Witch of the West. The Wicked Witch of Wake Forest. That's me. Oh what a world, what a world.

Fortunately, not too much has happened to me in the last 2 months. I have successfully just completed my first year of Graduate school here at Wake. I still work crazy hours for my advisor, Dr. Messier, and I still work at HELPS. In fact, the most recent job at HELPS has been to retrieve UFO's (Unidentified Fallen Objects) from a mystery (or not so mystery) patient....however I personally think we should replace Unidentified with Identified...because there is no doubt to any of us what those fecal, I mean fallen objects are. Oh HELPS, new adventures daily. I know, you all want my job.

This marks the return of my blogging; while this is not one of my best or most entertaining posts, it will serve as a "coming back". And now that I am officially done with all my grad school classes EVER, I can no longer use that as an excuse. More to come...stay tuned.

Not to Brag...

In honor of my very favorite blogger...or really the only other blogger I really follow consistently, and who kinda made me want to blog so I could try and be as funny as her (see: MEP at Not To Brag)...no pressure MEP :), I thought I would dedicate a post to why I think I am so awesome (NTB).

NTB...I am running my third marathon on Sunday...Virginia Beach ahhh - I'M READY!!!

NTB...I go to WAKE FOREST!

NTB...My first article, from undergrad, just got published. Check it out - www.pubmed.gov and type 'Hoops ML' into the search bar. I am so pumped!

NTB...I've lost 8 pounds since July (I guess graduating from UD and not drinking 5 nights a week will do that?)

NTB...Wake Forest won in OT last night with a buzzer beater

NTB...Jerry is coming over tonight and I'm dishing up something special without setting off fire alarms (I guess this is a pending NTB)

NTB...It's 70 and sunny today here in North Carolina (so I opened a window)

I think that will do for now because frankly I cant brag about the amount of school work I have to do on this beautiful Friday.

Thanks MEP for such an awesome blog! And such a catching line! Hope you don't mind me stealing your creativity ;)

My Body Hates Me

Let me run you through the conversation I had with myself today....or better yet, the argument I had with my body today. Keep in mind my marathon in March 21....a mere 11 days away. I realize I did not ever blog about that. Now you know. Lucky number 3.

Kenz: I think I will go for a run
Legs: Are you serious
Kenz: Just a quick 40 min run or so, I didn't have a long run this weekend, so you can handle it
Legs: Psh, didn't have a long run. Who defines "long" anyways? Try being me and recruiting all these muscles to put one leg in front of the other. Then, try to absorb all this shock that me and knees have to put up with. We are through with you. We quit. We are fatigued.
Heel: Um, I hurt. Remember Kenz? I have this pump bump. It's from you wearing high heels on the weekends and dancing, and then attempting to hit me repeatedly on the ground 40-50 miles a week. Legs...geeze, you think YOU have it hard?
Kenz: Okay, here we go. Quick run, suck it up legs and heel. After all, its 70 and sunny and you have been doing school work all day. And its SPRING BREAK.

3 minutes later...
Heel: ow. ow. ow. Don't mind me, I only have a giant hump that is inflamed and digging into your shoe, making it agonizing to run.
Kenz: Maybe we should go back
Legs: Yes
Heel: Yes
Kenz: SIKE. no. Marathon is in 11 days. If we can't run a mile today, no way we'll make it 26.2 then. We go on.
Heel: I hate you.
Legs: 26? I did not sign up for this.

15 minutes in....
Kenz: Oh heel pain is going away, that's good! See, ya'll, this is not so bad.
Heel: Thanks for taking those painkillers before you went. Now I'm just swelling and chafing and progressing my injury so it hurts more later when the drugs wear off.
Legs: Kenz, seriously? 50 miles last week and you want to run more this week. I was not made to do this. We are not Kenyan here. I am only going along with this so we can get home sooner. Just wait for the charlie horses I'm going to give you tonight, bitch.
Digestive System: Hey Kenz! Remember that sushi and all that wine you had last night? And that Sonic Cheeseburger you had for lunch? It may be making a re-appearance.
Kenz: This is going to be a very long 20 more minutes.

5 minutes later....
Digestive System: PORTA POTTY!?!?!
Kenz: Oh my god, I need a porta potty.
Legs: You expect to run 50 miles last week, then go for a quick jog today, AND then expect ME to squat over a porter potty? You are crazy.
Kenz: I need to eat healthier.
Digestive System: Fried food. Beer. Mexican. Mmmmmm
Kenz: porta potty!!!

2 minutes later....post porta potty....
Legs: I hate you.
Digestive System: I'll be back in 5.
Kenz: I do not feel better.
Heel: (slurring) Whats the street name for this stuff?
Kenz: 5 minutes from home. This is ending early.

So here I am, a painful 35 minute run. An ongoing argument between my entire body. Other runners I know definitely have these conversations. I think maybe it's because I run without an Ipod? My body is ready for this ridiculous training to be over. Once again, I need to stress that...runners are crazy. I am crazy. Today was a "bad run". Tomorrow hopefully will be better. The marathon will go on.

Legs: Have you EVER heard of a day off?
Kenz: I run in my free time.